Illumin Blog

What Are You Denying?

Most of us have qualities or assets that we've hiding from or denying, perhaps for most of our lives.

Often, it's not until later in life, or when we're faced with a professional or personal challenge, that we see or acknowledge what we've been denying.

Frustration Leads to Revelation

A few years ago I confided in a lifelong girlfriend about some career frustrations. Being very process oriented and inquisitive about what motivates and drives people, I naturally wanted to understand the "why" of what I was tasked to do at work. This wasn't appreciated by my current boss. Also, I was always thinking of how we could do things on a bigger scale. That didn't go over well either.

My girlfriend totally called me out. She said, "Margaret, you're a curious thinker and you're a big thinker. You think about possibilities and see a bigger vision. Not everyone wants that."

The "Ah Ha!" Moment

That was my "ah ha!" moment. I knew she was right. I was a big, curious, visionary thinker. I like to know what makes people tick, what motivates them, why they make the decisions they make. It is so much a part of my make-up that there was no way I can suppress it, even if I tried. I knew then I had to be in a business where I could leverage those assets and where the people I worked with would appreciate them.

My business, Illumin, is founded on the very assets that weren't embraced in my former job.

Denial Leads to Low Self-Worth

Ignoring or denying our assets, skills, talents, experience, personality in our business leads to low self worth (including boredom, frustration, depression) and sense of purpose.

When we embrace our unique qualities and accept them as assets, rather than hurdles, we can create businesses or find careers that are more meaningful, and ultimately, successful.

Put Your Personality Into Your Business

Two women who do this beautifully are Judith Steinhart, EdD and Nina Kaufman, Esq. Both women use their natural appreciation of humor to help their respective clients deal with serious topics.

Judith Steinhart, EdD, nationally known health and sexuality educator and writer uses humor to ease clients into serious conversations, but she didn't always. "At first I thought I had to be absolutely deadpan with little affect to be taken seriously as a professional. Then I realized I could be more relaxed and take some risks with humor and I still am taken seriously as a professional."

For example, in a formal setting with a large audience, Judith will deliberately walk up to the microphone and, instead of tapping it before speaking, she'll look at audience members and say in a gentle voice, "Test. Test. Testicles." A humorous approach that helps reduce audience tension and creates a common bond.

For Nina Kaufman, Esq. award winning attorney, columnist, blogger and speaker of Ask The Business Lawyer it took believing in herself more and letting go of the need to be the "buttoned-up" stiff, lawyer. Once she did this, she could embrace her love of humor to create a business she loves. "Not until I stripped away the layers of fear and low self-esteem could I then embrace my love of humor as a vital and fun part of my business. Now, I'm enjoying my days and life more, and my clients enjoy the process more."

Be Bold. Be You.

It's likely that you're in a field that has thousands of competitors. How do you create a business and a brand that stands out from the rest?

Put your personality into your business. Take a risk, do something different. Be daring. Be bold. Be you.

After all, isn't that the whole point of being in your own business?